Friday, December 1, 2017

Does love sprout from infatuation?

Moin Uddin
Kathmandu

You might have listened to this old evergreen Nepali song’Nakkali Lai Bhagai Lagyo Jhilke Le’ by Saroj Gopal. This song is all about infatuation.

A girl may be liked my many boys, but eventually she will choose her one perfect match. The above mentioned song is beautiful–be it its music, lyrics, vocal and instruments. Perhaps a few lines of this song have touched me. ‘Timi Hami Bhanesi, Hurukkai Tini Hunthin Re. Dui Char Din Katai Gaye Samjhi Samjhi Runthin Re’.

Why I am talking about this part is that there was a girl, initially for whom I have thought as a friend. We used to chat a lot. In fact, we were like a good friend. I didn't know that she liked me. For few days, I did not go to college. Later, my friend told me that she felt lonely in class and would frown most often. Though there were many other boys who liked her and she could easily be friend with if she wanted to.

And the next part of the song is ‘Na Ta Kahile Bheteko, Na Ta Kahile Dekheko, Tye Mori Nakkali Lai Mohani Lagai Diyo Re’. This part also has some connection with my life. Few years down the line, I talked with a girl over phone.

We exchanged phone numbers on Facebook, took our social media relation to the next level after the first stage of chat was succeeded by phone calls. She used to call me for hours and I would wonder how much pocket money does she get from her parents? I was at college, no job at all, so I would just send text to save money from unnecessary expenses. For several months, she telephoned me and I, a poor guy, with Rs 15 to Rs 20 pocket money a day, would just send the text.

At that time I had created my kind of imagination about her. We were talking like boyfriend and girlfriend. The most interesting and amazing part was that we never met. We would say someday soon we'll meet but that day never came to its life. Slowly I neglected her text and phone calls as I thought we are not meant for each other. After few years when the memory was on its verge to extinct, she sent me message and requested to meet. One thought said that I should meet, but the other said, “No”. I took side with NO and closed the chapter forever.

Our generation, these days is starting to romance online. Many youths use social networking sites and this has somehow brought negative impact on us – by sending friend request to the girl/boy having beautiful profile pictures, which most often are fake. After confirming friend request, flirting phase starts from both sides. And that talk sometimes mistake our understanding and some people fall in a trap that they really feel that s/he is in love with that person.

Infatuation starts from very beginning. It can be by looking to the beautiful face, eyes, hair, complexion or it can be by the deep voice of a boy or by his fashion and styles, his/her line of work, and so on.

Sometimes infatuation can leads us in a big trouble. It can cause disputes between two good friends. Many youths gets infatuated to each other and say that they love immensely. In real sense which is not. They go beyond extremes and takes a wrong decision by indulging in bad and illegal things and end up life regretting it.

What I think is it can be controlled to some extend by conducting seminars, plays, via films or counseling, which may help youths to identify to differentiate love versus infatuation. Also, open communication between parents, teachers, friends, brother, sister has to be encouraged.

When the question is asked by some troubling youth seeking advice then it should be answered in a calm way so that s/he feels that someone is really listening to their concerns. We should inspire youths by giving our share of life experiences in helping them lead life in a profound way by talking about the paths we once had travelled. After all, we are just a bunch of kids who grew old by walking the same lane, and some years down the line some youths will cross it again. And we have to talk about it again.

However, there is no denying that infatuation itself is the beginning of love.

Published on a newspaper myRepublica's MyCity on  October 26, 2017 08:08 AM Moin Uddin

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