Being Optimistic

Most of the time I fear a lot regarding,what is going to happen in my life?How is my future going to be?What will I be doing in a days to come for generating income?Will all my efforts and hard work of  now will just go in vain or else it will reap the sweet fruits from it?There are lots of question that pop's up every now and then into my mind.And I always get disheartened when I cannot myself get the answer from all those self  arising questions.Though I am an optimistic person but when I look the reality of my life then I just cannot hold my emotions and eventually my tears roll down towards my cheeks.
Unlike me there are my cousin too,who else are facing the same problem like me.Where actually the problem lies? or Where the mistake had happened despite of our hard work and effort to sustain our future.
So,The first mistake was done by our Grand parents and then by their child.Ours  is a conservative family and we've a traditional business of operating a bead shop.My Grand Father worked hard and bought a small shop then and after many years he established the niche and from that shop our life is being sustained till yet.Where he did mistake was,he was very strict and always disliked the women of a house doing other works beside doing the beads work.He was autocratic and no-one dared to raise voice against him and do
something great of their own interest.Even his own son didn't raise their voice.Being very strict has had led to suffocate his children's desires and eventually everyone dream started dying due to suffocation.To let this not happen my Grand father should have been bit liberal in their children's interest and desires.SO,this was the first and most dangerous mistake done by my Grand Father.
Second mistake was done by my Grand Parent's children.They were living a safe life as they don't have to work hard to earn a living as my Grand father worked hard at his shop and they were having a safe life from the income earned from his beads shop.No-one dared to do something of their own.They were just helping my Grand Father in preparing beads product and were just happy doing that.They never thought of the future en-devours,like,What will happen in the future? or How will we survive if the Grand father shop will not reap income?Had they given priority in thinking of future prospects we the third generation would have not faced so many problems.My Grand parent's children never dared to expand his shop.Had they expanded the shop or opened some branches in various places,it would have been easy for us.
Now everything is on the god's kindness.We the third generation are having a tough time by the mistakes done by the first and second generation.We have so many dreams and desires.Also we have worked hard to fulfill our aspirations,hardly we are able to achieve some.We are educated and have faced the reality of life.Though second generation also have faced reality but they never learned from it.Had their heart and brain's string have matched with the right tune,it would have created the magic,but sad to say,no any tune was set between their heart and brain.
We the third generation are facing a tough time creating our own space and name in this 21st century world.Though we are highly educated,Have a good vision,resourceful,passionate,competing enough but all our talents are being wasted.It's getting rotten.I would like to present the example of the apple that the
Humla,Jumla,Mustang,Jhomsom produces.It is high in quality,taste good,the prices are affordable but it's of less use as it never got the right market and every year, tons of apples have to be thrown as it gets rotten.Had the people of those places had done some innovative thing to expand the apple market there,than till yet something miracle would have happened and the people all over the world would have enjoyed eating those juicy and tasty apples.But sad to say they never dared to seek the new ways to expand their
market.So, how much good quality that produced apple's  are it's of no use as it never got it's targeted consumer.So is the case with us(Third generation).Had they did some innovative thing than we would not have faced lots of problems.
I am optimistic.I have the will and power.I am educated but I don't have anyone to back me up.I don't have anyone to help me when I'll be in problem.This pinches my heart a lot.Though I've many desires and aspirations.I am confident.I've a vision.Only thing that I fear a lot is "Will all my efforts and struggles would go in vain?"I think of it a lot.But I am optimistic.  :)
-Moin Uddin,Ghattekulo,Kathmandu( I am the student of BBS III year
at Nepal commerce campus.)