Wednesday, May 30, 2018

How can I let my hopes to shatter? (First month reflection)




Moin Uddin, Teach For Nepal, Sixth Cohort (English Fellow)
Shree Terse Secondary School
Talamarang, Sindhupalchowk

Pre Placement
We learned and practiced so many things during the training institute, which held from Feb 04, 2018 to March 16, 2018 at Hotel Royal Safari, Chitwan. The training was intense and we hardly got any time for us to do personal endearments. From learning to teach to make lesson plans, in between went to Dang to do Shraamdaan and to be acquainted with the community on how village scenario would be like if placed during their placements was worth in many levels. Also, the sessions were diverse. Learned to manage class and some interesting energizers to grab the attention of the students was meaningful. The subject session was important. Our subject mentor Sophia Cameroon did her best to teach many aspects of teaching English and gave us an insight on how to make it interesting.

We made presentations on various topics and practiced to build confidence and to use it later after being placed to the schools. The trainers made us play games to know about the scenario and hunger banquet was something out of the box that we could ever imagine to face just in the second day of our institute. One can imagine how most of us felt –tears rolled down like a waterfall. I was like what is going on and did not find any meaning to it, but could relate it only after going for Shramdaan and practice teaching. The eggs that we were given to protect it during our training were delicate to us. My egg broke in fourth day of institute, which I thought I had kept safely on my coat’s pocket. I was afraid. I did not knew what to do, and if asked, what to answer. Later when I came to know some of my co-fellows eggs were broken too, I was bit relieved. “I was not only the one,” I said to myself (Ha Ha). Later, I told about the incident to LDM’s.



Many guest lecturers of diverse field came to give us an insight on education, which was helpful. The institute ended with much enthusiasm in me and felt that now I have so much of knowledge that I can apply when I go to my school. I was determined.


Post Placement
When I first came to my School “Shree Terse Secondary School” at Talamarang, Sindhupalchowk on April 14, 2018, I had mixed feelings. The environment was new, the room that I was staying was new, people here were new to me and even foods and moods. I met the headmaster, Krishna Dhungana and he said that the school would start from April 22, 2018. I returned to room. In the evening went with Tek to go around the Talamarang Baazar to meet some teachers and to buy groceries.



The next day with Tek, my co-fellow, I went for community visit for admission campaign with two other teachers of the school. That was the first time that I had gone to most of the students house, up in the hills. I never felt that this kind of situations would exist in Sindhupalchowk where students would have to walk for almost 2 to 3 hours to come to school. Few days ago, I went to Upallo Gaun, which is uphill from Talamarang and hardly any buses go there, it took me almost three hours to reach there. There I saw few of my students and I felt sorry for them and realized that how lucky we were to study in the comfort of our home, back in Kathmandu, where anything you want can be bought or ask someone to deliver into your doorsteps.

I was amazed to know despite Sindhupalchowk being so near to Kathmandu there are no any newspapers. I was like we were kept in doom as these companies claim that they are national newspapers and can be available anywhere in Nepal, but just few hours’ drive from Kathmandu, you can’t get any is such a woe scenario. Just imagine that if you cannot get any, here, than what would be the scenario of other parts of rural Nepal.  

When I first went to take my formal classes at my school from class seven (Nepali) to ten (Nepali), as being an English teacher, I talked with them in English. They were just looking at my face. I felt like did I talked fast or they didn’t understood what I was saying, but later came to know that they hardly understand, so I had to talk with them in Nepali. However, I could see their passion for study. They would say, “Sir, Nepali ma bujhaununa, English ta garo lagcha.”



One day while I was teaching unit two (An Expedition) for class eight and gave them homework of page 21, question number 3, only one or two did. I asked others why did not you do it and they said, “Sir, garnai aayena.” I said them that I had explained them properly the day before and they were quite. And when I explained them again in Nepali they were answering, I was amazed. Then I said them to write it on their copy, they looked confused. I explained them again and said them to write and one student stood and asked looking at me and on the book, “Sir, tyo bhaneko kun chahi ma lekney ho?” indicating from his eyes on which question to write answers. Later, I realized that they didn’t know the words in English in spite of knowing the answers.

My students are attentive and they are willing to learn with few exceptions. As I am the class teacher of class seven (Nepali), there too my students are weak. Except two or three, all of them are active. They would participate in every activity, but still their English is weak. And if told them to write from Nepali then they would just jump out of excitement.

Though I tried to implement in every class to write a daily journal, however, here in class seven I made them compulsory to write it and whosoever does not write, have to pay a fine of Rs 5, which one of the students collects. I did not want them to pay a fine but these kids were not writing, so I discussed with the students themselves on what to do and they came up with this idea.

I just want them to improve and cultivate a habit of writing so that every day they can learn something as this is one of the important skills that they will have to use it throughout their lives. Reading skills is also poor among my students and I am trying my best to do everything possible to make them improve.

But, how? This is the major question as no any newspapers are available here, which is a major source of knowledge for them to know about national and outer world. I went to the library and was sad, as there were not any English books for my kids to study.

I just keep on thinking every time that how shall and what shall I do to make them improve and give them exposure. I get panicked. Worry surrounds me thinking there are so many things to do in so little time. I keep thinking how I can take my every kid in the same level to move forward. I just question to self and ask my students how we shall move forward together as only few students are active. Shall I wait for the weak ones to catch up and leave my active students stagnant or go with the flow with active student’s level? For how much shall I wait for my weak kids despite telling them to try as I’ll help them, but the next day they just do not do any task given and the scene continues every other day.


I do not know how I will motivate kids to improve their English as they try to run far away from it. When asked, “Who else really wants to improve their English?” everyone raises their hands. My next question would be, “So what have you done to improve your English?” They would say, “Kei pani gareko chaina.” I get dumbstruck. Lately, I have tried to get close to them by going in a recess time to learn Tamang language from them and they are so willing to teach. I am amazed to see enthusiasm on kids who rarely speaks on class, coming and showing interest to teach me English. I am figuring out on how to use this tactics to connect them to improve their English.


I know it is just a month and 23 months are still there for me to work relentlessly to bring some changes in my students’ lives and mindsets. I will just keep on moving with the determination that I had, I have and will have to improve lives, skills, talents and aspirations of my kids. I know it is not going to be easy but how can I let my hopes to shatter as hopes is something that keeps us alive. And I truly believe in our vision that “One day every kids in Nepal will get an excellent education” and people like us should keep on doing the best no-matter how shattering the scene might be in present. There are immense possibilities and opportunities to improve and bring changes and I will do my best.

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