Mr. Perfectionist?

                

I've already wasted my valuable time and life into doing the things perfectly. I work day and night to do a work sincerely to complete it in time. In-fact I try to finish before deadline and this has been a problem for me. There are some of my friends who are happy and are leading their life successful and are not afraid that if their work crosses deadline. Indeed they are the ones living a joyful life.

                Fear, rejection, disapproval are the elements that drives me to do a better work but this haunts me a lot and I am already into frustration. I want all the things to be perfect. I know there are many like me who have similar problem.

                Are we trying to be perfectionist? If then what is perfectionism?

                Perfectionist aspires to be top achievers and do not allow themselves to make even a single mistake. They are always on the alert for imperfections and weaknesses in themselves and others. Perfectionism is not the same as striving for excellence. People who pursue excellence in a healthy way take genuine pleasure in working to meet high standards. Perfectionists are motivated by self doubt and fear of disapproval, ridicule and rejection. The high producer has drive, while perfectionist is driven.

                I see others and get disappointed. The reason behind this is they take life and work for granted and goes beyond rules and regulation, perhaps they do anything what they feel like, which I think is incorrect but I am mistaken by my own definition. I should take life lightly like them as every other people do mistake and are given a chance to correct it but again my conscience doesn’t let me accept this as, if given a responsibility than we must do that work sincerely and wholeheartedly.

                I've gone through lot of problem in trying to be Mr. Perfectionist. My self esteem has always been low as I fear that I would be rejected if I do not perform perfectly. I almost have gone through depression. Most of the time, I lack motivation. I'd an obsessive behavior like focusing on details and rules. I've an eating disorder. And most importantly the relations with my family and friends have gone sour. They feel like I've a problem and I feel like they've a problem and ultimately I end up hurting people without meaning to hurt them.

                I’ve realized it sooner and have stated using a different methodology that high achiever would practice. They accept that making mistakes and risking failure are part of the achievement process and part of being human. There are some benefits of being high achiever. They set standards that are high but achievable, enjoy the process, not just the outcome, they recover from disappointment quickly, they view mistakes as opportunities for growth and learn.

                Once you are aware of the ways by which you expect yourself to be perfect, you can start to change your behavior. Remember one thing that there isn't anything that is perfect as everything has its perfect as well as imperfect portions. Enjoy life. :)

               

(Moin Uddin maintains interest in all things positive in life and loves to write about them, He is from Ghattekulo, Kathmandu and can be reached at moinuddin_200000@yahoo.com or 9841689437)