Thursday, July 31, 2014

Rejections are eternal

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On Tuesday evening I continuously read a novel book from 7 pm and stopped at page 74; I felt tired and lay on my bed. The light was black due to power cut; I struggled to get my cell phone and peek it with one eye open as the light flashed too much that my eyes couldn’t bear it. It’s 9:30 pm. I felt asleep in a while.
The next day I woke up at 6 am, after my morning prayers from 6:30am to 6 pm in the evening I finished reading the novel book, with breakfast, lunch and light snacks in between. I sigh a relief of winning the battle with the book and I laid on my bed as since early morning till late noon I read continuously so I had a backache, I turned on the song from my cell phone from an old movie of Salman Khan.
Then I thought, how did the writer wrote all those and how many days it took for him to complete typing that long 267 pages story on his computer? How he arranged all the sequences and how he chose the words to describe them all? I kept thinking all those for 4 minutes until the song stopped then.
Then again I played another song and this time it was of Guns N Roses” November rain” and I started thinking, how he may have had approached the publisher? May he have gone through rejection like I am going through to publish my novel book? How did the publisher behaved with him, when he said I want to publish a book, handing him the manuscript in his hands? Had the publisher flipped the pages and later said to him like they said to me that with a fake courtesy smile saying, now the market of book is down, so our team has other priority to look first?
Had they took his manuscript like mine for quite couple of weeks assuring they will go through it and will reply soon within 3, 4 days and never calling back and like me, did he call them to get a positive reply, praying to god wholeheartedly to get to listen a positive yes “ yeah, we are interested, your book is really good, our team liked your writing and also they hoped that the readers out there will like it too and will be a bestselling book, so we want you to come to the office to sign some  documents, so please come soon in the afternoon” but getting an exact opposite response saying” we are sorry, we only publish philosophical books, it’s our theme, so we can’t go against our rules, so better you try other publishing houses.”
Had he gone through like me to the publisher, who said at first that “we are sorry; we only publish Nepali books and later after 2 minutes saying yes but asking to make an investment of more than 100 thousand rupees? And had he gone through like me positioning the face down, thinking how shall he get the investment as his parents doesn’t show any interest in his works and also knowing the parents problem that his father can’t arrange a huge sum of money for his son’s book to publish as he have to look for his family as he has some earning of Rs 16000 a month.
Had he cried like me alone, sometimes going at the cafĂ© and asking for a cigarette and later the shopkeeper handing chewing gum instead of returning the remaining money. Had he kept quite like me, despite of wanting to blow his fist at the shopkeeper’s face of not returning the money and giving the chewing gum instead. Had he calmed down like me without arguing with the shopkeeper and taking what he returned and went silently to the table smoking cigarette getting lost in thinking how shall he publish his book and who in the earth shall help him to publish his book?
These are the pains that a new writer especially who doesn’t have any close link to the publishing industry and especially of the one who are economically weak but having a passion to write goes through, like me.
Sometimes, I think of why I am not born in the families of the rich people as with all those qualities and talents god has instilled on me my rich dad and mom would invest all those money at-least for a sake of having a son to look after as they have given birth without my permission. I would have become a sort of celebrity writer, if not that, then a mere writer.
 However I console myself saying that if I was born in that rich kind of family then I wouldn’t have to work like I am doing now and then I wouldn’t have to experience all those sufferings and also I couldn’t write like what I am writing now and my writing couldn’t be good enough as I am writing it through all my emotions and with a true heart and tears filled eyes..
Despite all these, I thank my god for everything that he has given me, I thank most all the circumstances for giving me a passion to write and letting my inner thoughts to share with you.
Though most of my inner voice, I couldn’t share as it doesn’t get published and I have to fight strong standing and controlling my frustrations and depressions to burst out from becoming paralyzed not letting me to write next time collapsing all the writing skills and desires.
I don’t have power to go and shout at the editor or to the publication houses saying why you didn’t publish my book and articles.
With every rejection, these days, I’ve become what I am now. I am strong but I’ve a soft heart. My heart gets hurt and brain gets into accident, with all those pain my eyes drops the tears, however after some consoling lubricating treatment and pampering gifts to my heart, it gets normal.
I have never loosed hope and I’ll never stop writing. I am born to write and I’ll keep on writing. No-matter how much rejection I get, I know those rejection will hit me strong to help me become one of the bestselling and loved writer in the entire world, sooner or later and even when I die, my work will make history like the writing of Khaled Hossieni, J.K Rowling, Nicolas Sparks, Paulo Coelho and will be eternal until one day world comes to an end.
Writing will be part of me forever.

Name: Moin Uddin
Address: Ghattekulo, Kathmandu, Nepal
Email: moinuddin_200000@yahoo.com     
Phone: 00977-9841689437

Short Bio: I am a post Graduate student of Masters in Business Studies "MBS” studying at Shankhar Dev Campus, Putalisadak and currently, I work in Kathmandu National Medical College as a Computer operator. I have a passion to write and I’ve written a Novel book, and I am looking for a publisher to publish my book.

Passenger’s Perception

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Recently I started noticing my own behavior when I commute to a public vehicle, And like me, it happens same to others passengers as well.
We have to reach to a particular place within a particular time, we are almost late, standing in a bus stand and looking into watch for more than ten times in a minute –talking to oneself saying, when shall this bus come or if one has missed in catching a us by just a five second then s/he will curse god and waits eagerly imagining to be to a place where they are suppose to reach.
After much praying and cursing – one bus comes with loaded passengers hanging on the door – the conductor says, “Kata janey ho” where do you want to go ?, me “Dai Tinkuney” and he says “Aaunus aaunus” come in – come in – and after letting me in, he shouts, “Putalisadak, Anamnagar, Thapagaun. Baneshwor, Tinkuney…) and then another chuck of 5-6 passengers hustle to be part of the journey, the conductor says, “Go to the back seat”. the sets are packed with all the smart smelling rosy ladies to the rotten smell coming from a body of a poorly maintained personal hygiene of the mid 50’s man.
After listening those sentences from the conductor, the personality of the same passengers changes immediately, s/he now says, “Thau nai chaina, katti manchey hulna sakya”, there is no any space, why is he stuffing more people?
Now here arises a question – the same person who was before waiting to appear a bus be it packed to get inside and who talked softly, at this instant gets the superior feeling after entering into the bus and shows the rude behavior. Why does s/he have a personality change?
I wanted to know about it and then found answer I compared with our general life in any sphere that we are surrounded with.
Let’s take an example – A graduate middle class student, looks for a job to earn for his living. He searches but all his effort goes in vain, he tries to get help from his peers –and one of them who is of a good hearted mentality helps in providing him a job, at first the same person talked in a buttering voice and making a call once in a day, starts showing off by getting busy and forgetting him and never calling him. at the moment his dream is to earn more than his present earning, however, there are bad days as well, he loses his job and comes with the earlier previous life which he lived and now he thinks of his friend who helped him – this time he even couldn’t call him and ask for the next help as he never had even called in all those years and thanked for helping him getting a job.
People are greedy by nature and have a selfish purpose for themselves. They want to be in a cozy position first, and then they think for others.
Similar is the life of a passenger in a public vehicle, everything seems OK unless we get boarded but later curse the driver and a conductor for over staffing.
One should learn from the people around us that they are the same people like us. We all are almost alike and have a similar basic thinking for our general life.
Only our demands increase after we meet the basic needs (like getting in a bus) – and then we start searching for the subsequently item like safety, self actualization, social well being, self esteem – like after getting entering into bus searching for a cozy seat.
The only thing to be remembered is never to forget the roots of who we are – how we lived our life.
Let’s thank that bus came and we got a small space to be in and getting to the destination despite larger crowds, nor we would have been stranded far behind to reach our destined place.

-Moin Uddin, Ghattekulo, Kathmandu
(I am doing my Masters in Business Studies (MBS) from Shankher Dev Campus, Putalisadak )